January, 2026
A solution to the resolution?
I have a little sticky note posted above my desk, written in 2012, that says “play music everyday”. And it saddens me to add that I of course, have not. That is kind of a tall order of course, given the demands of life and love and netflix. I make a resolution every year it seems, to follow through, with little success. What's the solution to this resolution abandonment? I'll let ya know when I figure it out.
November, 2025
Old tunes, with heart and groove.
It’s a drizzly November morning and I am avoiding all the house projects and other tasks that are not more fun than working on my puzzle and listening to Gillian Welch’s ‘Lost Songs’. Earlier, Leo and I were chatting over our morning coffee, and the conversation led to me sharing a story about my first car, Lucy, a 1964 Chevrolet Corvair convertible. I told him I had written a song about her years ago. I have not played this song in years, barely remembered the lyrics, but had the melody in my memory. I searched for some lyrics, picked up the guitar, picked out the progression and hummed the melody along.
It all came back, what a sweet little tune! I played the song for Leo. Not my best work, but that doesn’t matter in the least. It brought a memory back and a smile to my face. I perused other old lyrics, detangled the songs, uncertain and nostalgic. I sang them for me. I have been feeling stuck in my path back to songwriting, but this morning helped to loosen the soil in my song garden a bit, get it ready for seeds. I do need this reminder often, it seems; that my songs are for me. If others enjoy them, they have gone above and beyond their purpose.
March, 2025
Why am I blue?
Do I have the blues? Sure, relatively speaking. I've been exploring this a lot lately. I used to write a lot of songs, and this was my way of exploring and processing these deep emotions. Now it's through therapy and books about all the self-improvement topics you could imagine. Most of the books are still unread on the shelf, but they bring me comfort in their intention and possibility.
I'm ok. I always have been and I always will be. But there's something deep down that is still mysterious and unsolved. Not sure exactly how my own past or intergenerational trauma might fit into this idea, but there's something there. They say that healing happens through relationship, and I resonate completely… I seem to have been repeating a pattern in mine, but something is different this time; I am the most important person in my life. Phew… what a relief. Selfish? Definitely not.
I have not written a complete song in many years. I used to think it was because I was just too happy, but I realize now it was because writing that song was not the most important thing in my life, I was not the most important thing in my life. I think I'm ready to change that.
